Professionally, the teams I have been part of in property development have been strong. For some reason, a lot of us ditch the team full of winners ethos when it comes to our personal lives. Not to say you should ditch friends heartlessly but we should be mindful of our associations, and this isn’t just applicable to teenagers but to the grownups. In my opinion, I feel that those whom you have around you in your personal life have more of an impact than any other form of association.
As the famous saying goes, you are only as good as the people you have around you.
Having an older brother
My first experience of winning by association was by mixing with my older brother and studying his moves. They say the second-borns learn better because they have a firstborn to copy. I guess I learned well. His wins, losses and successes allowed me to learn about the impacts of different decisions. He is methodical and intentional in everything he does, and I guess I learned that from him.
My brother is two years older than me but one year older academically. I was able to follow his moves closely due to our closeness in age. He was great at secondary school and was very athletic, whereas I was athletic in some ways but didn’t focus as much at school. I was a late bloomer academically. I am not shy to say that my brother was and still is my role model.
I would say that he matured very early and I didn’t experience the real benefit of his association until I was 20. My brother took his faith seriously and promoted me to be better in a walk with Christ. From getting married to buying his first house, I watched in awe knowing that I could do the same.
To some, getting on the property ladder is impossible, which is a psychological block. When you have an older brother who did it early doors, it creates a mental passage which made it easy for me to follow suit. His effort to get on made it easier for me to get on purely because I was winning by close association with my brother.
I also have a brother from another, who went before me, bought a house, progressed in his career, started a fantastic family which again made it easier for me to win in my own life. Love to my brother @ogawade.
With one biological brother and one from another who went before me, they cleared the path for me to win.
My sister
My sister from another audacious nature is infectious. I have seen her establish a fantastic business which she has been running for the past 10 years. Her audacity infected me and allowed me to win in my life also. She is not in the same industry as me, but she was always happy to share her experiences with me so that I could copy, paste and edit.
The League of Gentlemen Investments
I know a fair bit of people, but my Spartans are very few. My transition from semi to full responsibility as a man stemmed from linking up with brothers whose focus were laser hot. My brothers and few friends and I set up a little peer to winning peer group where we share best practice and challenge each other to be our best. This group has been running 6-7 years, and the Success by association has been phenomenal. We had to force this relationship into existence, and this group now boasts of properties, investment in shares and leaps in individual careers. There is something about hearing other people win and how it could impact you in doing the same.
What if your associates are not winning
My simple answer is to find some new associates. If you are like me, I find value in everyone and cutting some people off may not be easy. I am not saying you should cut off your current associates, but I am saying that you have to get with a team of people who are winning and want to help you win. From the ages of 22-27, I kept my circles small so that I could make up for lost ground. Now at 32 years of age looking backwards, I can see the benefits of being around a winning team.
I have learned through my short time on earth, not to expect everything from everyone. What this means is to know who your winning associates are, those whom you share similar interests with and those that you love. Once you can make this distinction between the three, life becomes much more manageable. My thing is, whatever you do, you need a winning team.
You can imagine if I remained around bad associations, what will I be today? Perhaps I would have some exciting, adventurous memories but I nothing else to show for it.
I remember having a conversation with my friend where I said; some people compete over how many bottles can be popped at a party whereas, my winning team and I are discussing how we are going to better provide for our families. Such a simple shift in an association can change the conversations you are having, which will ultimately change what you define as a successful output. Popping champagne is a successful output to some but so is buying a house to others. The question is, what do you and your associations consider to be a successful output?
What to do next
If you have established that you need a winning association, take time to write out what wins you expect over the next few years. Then go on to identify people within your network who are wanting to or are doing these things already. These people should be your new circle moving forward.
For me, I can be very singular minded so do not always need to have many people around me to do well but I do lean on my winning team, however small they are in number.
The burning question is…
Would people say that you are their part of their winning association? Sometimes, us winning, can stimulate others to do the same. When Success or winning multiplies it then means you have organically created a winning environment which should continually multiply. As I have said earlier, I do not think people should be removed from your association if you are encouraging and pushing each other to better. However, you have to bold to make drastic changes if those around you do not see things the same way.
Conclusion and key lesson
From marriage to leading a responsible life to buying properties to one day developing my own homes, these outputs are a result of connecting with likeminded winners who are focused on creating an environment of winning. This reinforces my view that Success is infectious, so is losing and winning.
Please note winning by association does not always have to result in financial returns but could be being around positive people, associating with people who do things better than you or connecting with people who are receptive to being pushed to do better.
Finally, it is okay to be a copycat, as long as you copy the right cats.
